Overcome Doubt

I graduated college from Vanguard University, dreaming of flying for the United States Air Force. I have worked hard my whole life, studied, cared, and been involved in activities left and right. If you know me personally, think back, and try and find a moment I wasn’t doing something. Yet, in all of my success, I still let voices of doubt rule over my decision making.

As senior year came and went, multiple people told me getting a pilot slot off the street was near impossible. I was told I hadn’t done enough to be good enough. I did the dumbest thing I could have possibly done, I listened. That may come as a shocker for everyone involved in my senior year of college, but I listened to the voices of doubt, versus the voices of those that cared about me and were trying to build me up.

I let it keep me away from my dream, until I was a flight attendant at American Airlines. I remember being on a layover in Tampa, and the Captain flat out asked if this is what I actually wanted to be doing? For some reason, that night I told him everything leading up to me being in Tampa, he told me I needed to stop doing this and go fly.

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure.” ~ Sir Richard Branson

With that affirmation from a prior Air Force Pilot, and that burning dream in my soul, I thought I would give it a try. This time, I was going to believe in myself because someone who knew nothing about me saw my dream and believed I could do it. I had let doubt nearly kill my dream, and I hadn’t even failed, yet alone try. Looking back I would say I had three general themes that stood out as driving forces in my life.

1. Plan B is the Enemy of Plan A
   The number of people that immediately followed up hearing my dream with; “What is Plan B when that doesn’t work?” was disheartening. Don’t waste energy on anything but plan A.
2. Do Not Accept No
   The number of people that just say no because you don’t match the peg they’re trying to fit through the hole is amazing, do not let that stop you, make them see you.
3. Modesty Does Not Show Your Success
   When you are going after something ambitious, do not be shy about sharing all of the cool things you’ve done, and the lives you’ve impacted. It can only help build your case.

This time was coming with a new fire. I was not taking no for an answer. I was still faced with the same doubters, the same nay sayers, but this time was going to be different. I was not going to listen.

Plan B is the Enemy of Plan A

The number of times I’ve been asked what my Plan B is when I was sharing what my dream was is borderline disgusting. I am glad so many people have such little belief in my work ethic, or in believing in what I am capable of doing. Imagine me showing up to your wedding, which is some peoples’ dream, and going, “yikes, what’s Plan B?” If you do this to people, please just stop. Transition to magnifying peoples strengths, it is more effective than emphasizing their weaknesses.

Plan A was Air Force Pilot. No Plan B. I wouldn’t even entertain that thought. I knew it would be hard work getting my private pilot’s license, testing high on the AFOQT and TBAS, as well as crushing a Captains Interview. So I had the framework for Plan A. I started working on every aspect of it between trips as a flight attendant. I even used all of my vacation time so I could get my PPL in an accelerated program. I was pointing every ounce of extra energy at being an Air Force Pilot. No matter how many times I was asked I still was not even thinking about what an alternate plan would be.

So many people told me that was reckless, but I knew my abilities, I knew I could come up with something on the fly, because that is who I was. Focusing in on Plan A allowed me to find what I was made of, trust in my abilities, and it was exciting to see them sharpen the more I focused. If you are someone who is in a similar boat that I was. I highly encourage you to stop coming up with a fleet of solutions to get to the future, and focus on the one that will make you happy every single day. This will minimize or eliminate the doubt that you have, because before you know it, you’ll be a step closer to your dream.

Do Not Accept No

Now that I was working towards my dream of being an Air Force Pilot. I had to start the process of working with a recruiter. I remember walking into his office with a manilla folder with my PPL, testing dates, my PT scores, references, and questions and he looked at me like I was crazy. His first question was; “do you know what the acceptance rate of the street is to be an Air Force Pilot is?” I knew it was less than 5%, but I told him I was going to be an Air Force Pilot. I just needed him to be the gate keeper that scheduled my testing dates and interview and that I would do the rest of the work.

I had never interacted with a recruiter before, at first I could definitely feel the animosity because I came in telling him what I was going to do. He didn’t know my story or why I was there, but as soon as he saw I had done most of the work myself, and was willing to do more, he quickly said, “we need more applicants to show up like this.” I wasn’t even going to let the word no be said in our conversation. I did everything in my power to give him a reason to say yes. Throughout the entire process I am sure I was not his favorite person to deal with, but I certainly worked hard to make sure everything went smoothly.

What I’ve learned over the years is that people are conditioned to say no when you don’t fit a perfect mold of what they’re looking for. Ironic, because in our personal lives most people always say yes, and regret it. In the professional world risk taking on individuals has reduced to a trickle. I certainly do not fit the mold of an Air Force Pilot, but this is exactly where I belong. The number of times I’ve said things that needed to be said, that someone of my rank doesn’t normally say is pretty high for being a First Lieutenant. I’ve carried this torch through my time in the Air Force as well, never take no for an answer, find a way to Yes!

Modesty Does Not Show your Success

There are things in life that I have done, because they were the right thing to do. Spending a summer in Africa working at an orphanage, helping coffee growers in Honduras connect to a global trade network, starting and running a holiday community outreach to the homeless in San Francisco with my family. Everything was the right thing to do at the right time. It was never about what I get out of it, it was about seeing people eye to eye, giving them my time, because no one else was.

Since this was my belief, it was never included on resumes, because I didn’t do it to progress my career. However, I was told these projects I had done would make me stand a head above my peers because of the magnitude of their impacts. This was hard to overcome, because, again I was battling taking glory for simply doing the right thing. My motivation is never to check a box, to get a promotion. If I want to do something it is because it is right for me at the right time. What I learned was that by telling my story, it motivated others to step up and start doing the same in their lives.

So much of our lives is living on someone else’s time, doing what they want. Here’s the thing, when you start doing what you want, it’ll make doing the right thing to impact those around you easy. Don’t be afraid to tell others about what you’re passionate about and what you’re doing. It will help when you’re having a long, rough day to look back and actually think about all of the people’s stories you’ve worked with, and the lives you’ve impacted. Build yourself up, do more of what you love, because there is a world full of people depending on you to be the best version of you. Once you reach that point, own it, and start changing the world one smile, one conversation, one project at a time.

Let’s Wrap this Up!

To think I almost lived a life chasing money and prestige terrifies me every day. I was one decision, one “I give up” away from never being as happy as I am today. I believe that people come into your lives at the right moment to nudge you in the right direction. Looking back, I’ll never forget the conversation I had in Tampa with my Captain. It unshackled the chains of doubt, and set me free to chase my dream. What is funny is, I think he was honesty just asking a simple question, not sending me on an existential journey to discover my childhood dream. Life just works out that way sometimes.

If you retain anything from reading this it’s this; Focus your energy on Plan A, you have the ability to survive, and you will if it doesn’t work out. Don’t take no for an answer, so many people are conditioned to say it, because you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Lastly, tell your story, and don’t hold anything back. You are exactly who you are supposed to be, and by being that, you could spark someone to start doing the same in their life. By letting doubt control your actions, you are spinning your tires in life’s mud.

Just as Richard Branson said; “Doubt kills more Dreams than failure.” I am the living example of this. I almost let my dream die, but one day I took a risk, and as I write this, I am living my dream of being a Pilot in the United States Air Force. I hope you are sitting here thinking about what doubts you’ve had in your life and are ready to set yourself free! Take a risk on yourself, because no one else will. I promise you this, it’s worth it.